Let’s talk about blooming where you’re planted. Of all the things you can do to start moving your projects and goals forward, this is the biggest key.
But first, how can you tell if you’re not blooming…and possibly even withering and wilting?
You spend a lot of your time wishing you were further along on your projects, in your relationships, in your career.
You have pervasive thoughts that you’re always missing out.
You often rationalize, “If only my spouse supported me more,” “If my kids were not so demanding…” or “My life would be a lot easier if I had a different job.”
If you’re cultivating any of the above thoughts or similar ones, first know that it’s perfectly normal. We all think these thoughts, and they are usually default thoughts.
The problem is that we just tend to state our thoughts as if they were facts and believe them.
Unless you become aware of this pattern and break it, you will be setting yourself up to stop growing. You’ll go through your days feeling like a thirsty, wilted flower, not one that is growing and bursting with blooms.
A couple of weeks ago, I was staying at an Airbnb. It was amazing; the beauty and elegance of the place was very inspiring.
But then some old default thoughts crept in. It started with an innocent idea:
“This home is perfect for me. It’s like it was built for me.”
Then that morphed into “Wow, if I lived here, I’d probably be a better writer,” and “If I had this home, my life would be complete.”
It didn’t take long for me to spiral downward into the hell of envy:
“It must be nice to be so rich you can afford to have two AirBnBs on the water plus your own property.”
I even started attacking where I currently live:
“My home is so retro and dated. This place is so elegant, refined, and has a sophisticated view of the water.”
And then I started attacking the entirety of my life:
“It’s too late; I made the wrong career choices. My life will never be as good as this person’s life.”
After about 10 minutes, I became aware of what I was thinking and immediately snapped out of it.
I know it’s my thoughts that create how I’m feeling, not the circumstance.
And, whenever I remember that fact, it’s always fantastic news because we don’t have to wait to feel how we want to feel. We don’t have to win that Oscar, sell that script, live in our dream home, or get that advance on our first novel to feel exactly the way we think those things will make us feel.
We have access to those feelings right now. We just have to cultivate the thoughts that create the feeling.
So, instead of sulking, I decided to return to the enjoyment of my stay and why I was there. I took lots of pictures and noticed what I really loved about that place, and I thought about how I could incorporate some of those same ideas into my current home and life.
I became inspired by my desire instead of torturing myself with it.
It’s 100% possible to appreciate the beauty, inspiration, and possibility of what you don’t have and still fully appreciate and get excited about exactly where you are now. The only thing that’s required is the mindset of blooming where you’re planted, which is just a matter of exchanging your thoughts for better ones.
Here are seven shifts you can make to start blooming where you’re planted.
#1 Look for what is good in your situation. When you start wishing you were somewhere else or that you ordered something different from what the waiter brought you, realize that there is always something good. Ask yourself “What is good about where I am? What is great about this course I’m taking? What is wonderful about the projects I’m working on? What is good about this job I currently have?”
#2 Make the conscious decision to stop complaining and stop resisting your circumstances and make it your motto to bloom where you’re planted. Period.
#3 Decide you’re going to make the absolute best of whatever resources you have available to you and not worry anymore about what is not available to you at this time.
#4 Show up 100% for the relationships in your current orbit. Don’t waste your time wishing you had better connections or more prestigious friends. That’s placing your power in the hands of others and people can sense that. Relationships are not transactions.
#5 Ask better questions. Instead of waking up and asking, “Why is everything so difficult?” ask “What can I do today to move my project forward? or “What would this task look like if it were easy, and how can I create more ease? How can I make it more fun?” Whatever question you pose, positive or negative, your brain is going to work on proving it true, so might as well ask high-quality questions.
#6 Choose to live in a state of gratitude. You can keep complaining and comparing or choose to appreciate what is in your life right now. Being in a state of gratitude is going to open far more doors and allow you to spot opportunities, whereas hunkering down in self-pity, envy, or resignation is going to do the exact opposite. Using the plant metaphor, you’ll start to wilt and withdraw from your life.
#7 Show up to your life as the best possible version of yourself. Don’t wait to be an A-list writer or a published author. Show up like you already are one. Appreciate who you are now and treat yourself as if who you are now is just as important as who you are becoming. Because it’s true.
So, here’s the moral of this tiny talk.
If you can’t bloom where you’re planted, chances are that you’re not going to be able to survive an immediate transplant…so maybe it’s time to stop wishing for one.
I think we all know this. Sometimes we just need a little reminder to stop playing small and using our energy on things that just don’t matter.
Practice blooming where you’re planted this week and enjoy the massive impact it will have on your life.
A coach believes in you and your projects even on the days when you may be struggling to believe in yourself. Book a free consultation here and find out how we can work together so you can get your projects out into the world where they belong.