The phrase “Believe in yourself” gets a lot of eye rolls, like it’s so coachy or Pollyanna…or something you would see on a crafty sign hanging in someone’s bathroom or bedroom.
I actually have a card my friend gave me for Christmas that says “Believe” on it. I must admit – at times, it does feel like some sort of destination.
I’ve thought about this all week, wondering how I can approach this topic without sounding coachy or like it’s just another pep talk.
What came to mind is to simply tell the truth.
We scoff at the phrase or roll our eyes because we think it’s something Pollyanna, that it’s silly to believe in yourself if you don’t have the evidence.
When most of us hear the words “Believe in yourself,” our thoughts automatically go a certain way. (I’m going to use a writer here for an example, but you can use anything.)
It all sounds like:
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I figure out other people’s secrets to success.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I’ve won first place in a contest.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I’m better at dialogue.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I sell my first screenplay.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I know the right people.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I feel more confident in my writing.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when people laugh at my comedy.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I get my first writing assignment.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I get enough validation from my peers and the industry.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I can quit my day job and write full-time.
I’ll believe in myself as a writer when I see my work on the big screen.
Longing for something you don’t have but think you need will not create your success.
You’re using the things you say you want in life to beat yourself up because you don’t already have them, and then telling yourself that until you do have those things, you’re not going to believe in yourself as a writer.
Thinking those thoughts will block you from accessing your creativity, your resources, and the abundance of all the opportunities that are around you right now – at this very moment – to move toward those things you want.
Waiting to believe in yourself is like giving your power away and hoping someone will eventually give it back to you in some improved, perfected form.
You can’t get there from here.
“When I get the results, I’ll believe in myself.”
Not a strategy I’ve ever heard a successful writer, actor, artist, or entrepreneur use to their advantage!
What are you telling yourself about believing in yourself as a writer?
What do you believe you have to be good at?
What do you believe you need more of?
What do you think is the evidence you need to see to believe in yourself as a writer?
Stop and answer those questions. That’s the first step.
Believing in yourself only requires one thing.
That thing is to have your own back no matter what happens, good, bad, or neutral.
To start shifting into this mindset of having your own back no matter what, develop self-awareness about what you believe and be willing to call yourself out on any BS that comes and starts with “If only I had this,” or “If only I knew the secret to this.”
Replace those thoughts with better ones.
I choose to have my own back at every stage of this journey.
Where I am right now is exactly where I am supposed to be. I can only be here right now.
I am a writer because I write.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. ~ Arthur Ashe
When I think it’s better over there, I miss all the opportunities and resources available to me right here, right now.
So, what are you telling yourself about the resources, the people, the opportunities that are around you right now? Are those thoughts serving you? If not, how can you reframe them into thoughts that will?
You’re still going to have those thoughts about not-enoughness, or “When I am this or that, I’ll believe in myself.” I almost didn’t record this tiny talk because those were my defaults. I don’t know enough. I don’t have the right words.
Now you know you can change your thoughts.
You don’t have to keep them just because they’re the default thoughts that pop into your head – that is really the key. You’re not a victim of your thoughts. You can change them and choose to believe different thoughts when the ones you’re currently thinking are not serving you.
I hope this made sense to you and that it helps you look at the idea of believing in yourself far beyond just a simple coachy catchphrase.
Belief is everything if you want to achieve what’s important in your life and shift into a space where you can start tapping into what is available to you right now – right where you are.
In the next episode, we’ll talk about belief in your project. I hope you’ll join me.
We still have six months left in 2021, so if you’re interested in accessing more of your creativity, getting out of your own way, and getting serious about getting your work out into the world where it belongs, I can help. Book a free consultation here.